Chapter 1: “If the price is your peace of mind, it costs too much.”
Hi, let me introduce myself: I’m Nello, an interesting, charming man and… That’s not true, I’m a man like many of you, of average height, average intelligence, clumsy at times and with a bit of a belly. My life is linear, or rather it was, at least until a couple of years ago, before, after a seven-year childless marriage, Chiara, my ex-wife, well, not quite yet because we’re only legally separated, and I decided that by now we were just good friends. End of my marriage. I didn’t mind being friends; I was comfortably settled in that life, calm, peaceful, dull to some, but basically safe.
Then life changes, and the daily routine is turned upside down. Panic! Me, who had never been an active presenter of my own life, but rather an inept observer, more a supporting character than the lead actor, always second-hand roles, small parts but performed with care. In the morning, up at 7:00 am, a strong Borbone coffee, and while Chiara was getting ready to come home from her night shift, I’d slowly and clumsily make my way to the PC and start tinkering. Yes, I’m a boring software engineer and I design and develop software, hardware and IT infrastructure systems, which means I spend hours and hours sitting still in front of my desktop. My days were all marked by a slow, monotonous but reassuring rhythm. At 10:15, as punctual as my acid reflux, Lucy would start getting restless for her usual morning walk. A wonderful five-year-old caramel-coloured Golden Retriever my mum gave me for my 40th birthday.
When Chiara left, my anxiety, my fears, my most hidden eccentricities rose to the surface, like the filth you see floating in the Goletta Verde reports on the Pontine coast. Shattered, confused, distraught, I moved from the sofa to the desk. My only company was Lexotan and two packs of Yesmoke. In no time at all I became an amoeba; I only went out to buy food and because Lucy forced me to.
One November morning it was cold and the air was murky and gloomy, like before a storm, and I was letting myself be dragged along by Lucy, who was always full of energy. A black cat crossed in front of me and Lucy started pulling like crazy until she slipped out of my hands. A frantic chase began: the cat, Lucy and me. I felt my lungs bursting as I tried not to die of a heart attack in the alleys of Corinaldo. I fell to the ground and there I saw this figure holding Lucy, who was happily wagging her tail. “Hi!” she said, helping me up by offering her hand, “She’s a Golden Retriever, isn’t she?”. “Nice to meet you, I’m Anna.”
Anna was wearing a sort of uniform: blue cargo trousers, a light blue T-shirt with a big logo on it and a cap with the same logo in plain sight. Seeing her, I thought she was almost a mirage, bright eyes and a captivating look. She surprised me; I was struck.
Have you ever seen the film Limitless? A wonderful Bradley Cooper, tangled up in a life that is squalid to say the least, at a certain point, through a chance meeting with his ex-brother-in-law, is destined to have his existence turned upside down: he is offered an experimental nootropic drug called NZT-48, capable of maximising cognitive abilities. Awakening!
From that day on, everything has changed.